An undefined variable (spaceage) wrote,
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Sitting here worried that this will be remembered as the Polyphonic Ringtone Age

I normally don’t let weather dictate wardrobe, but the sun is hanging out in the Springs right now like we’re having a two for one sale on orange. I am wearing shorts right now for the first time in five years. I, of course, didn’t have any on hand so I took a pair of meat shears to a pair of old jeans. Note to self: Don’t use meat shears on denim. These new shorts of mine are functional, but they have the most crooked cut at the knees you’ve ever seen. They will only be for use at home, and only after I have a S.W.A.T. team sweep the house for unannounced guests.

I hate hate hate returning mail-order goods. So much, in fact, that I actually considered keeping the ceiling fan I received that has a color similar to something that has been dipped in vat of Dijon mustard then left to decay in a field of nuclear fallout. How they could post a picture online that is that inaccurate is a mystery that will haunt me until…. ok, never mind, I’m over it (fuck, no I’m not.)
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Are you listening to The Village People while you wear these new shorts? Or did you just put your car up on blocks in the front yard? I can't help but wonder if the film version of "Dukes of Hazzard" has really inspired this new look for you, rather than this so-call sun of which you speak...

PS. Which fan was it - the one with the heater or War of the Worlds?
What was even scarier was me trying on a NASCAR baseball cap later in the afternoon. I hadn't worn a cap in about 14 years. I couldn't help but see a 15 year old kid staring back at me in the mirror. Then I snapped back into the reality that is me not wearing baseball caps, let alone NASCAR ones.

And I didn't pick either of those fans (although i should have).
dude...they're just jeans... would your self image be ruined that much if you were seen in crooked cut-offs? do people really care that much? i'm the kind of person that i think those kind of things, flaws or not, give people more character. fuck boring normalacy.
Its all about first impressions. If someone saw me for the first time in crooked cut-off jean shorts and a JNCO t-shirt, they would have an expectation that is way off. I prefer to wear clothes that amount to no expectation at all .
have u tried to call me? i won't pick up my phone unless i know the number.. so leave a messge if you do. if you haven't ... ignore and delete this comment.
check out the dates on ur last two posts.

.... it's getting to be that time again.